Outstanding Debts

If my ex and I had a good relationship, we would still be together. So it is no big surprise that things between us are still turbulent sometimes. Recently he pulled an extremely frustrating stunt. I wish I could say it didn't affect me. If I was stronger it wouldn't. But I was angry. It hurt our children and when it comes to them I am definitely a mama bear. For a few days I kept thinking "it just doesn't pay to be nice to this man. Forget it." Then I would think of all the cooperative things I do that I was now going to quit doing. I know, I was off track.

Two things finally helped me. One was just realizing that having two vindictive parents is worse for my children than having one vindictive parent. I don't want to get foggy about what is really important here. My children are innocent victims in this divorce. I don't need to be arming them for battle.

The second thing was the scripture that says, "vengeance is mine". Justice hates to have outstanding debts. When something unjust happens, justice is just there waiting (sometimes very patiently, but waiting nonetheless) to collect on the debt. But if I do something to get vengeance then justice figures that the debt has been paid and it lets the issue go. Justice is far better at collecting payment for injustice than I could ever be. I would much rather forgive and let it go and leave justice with an outstanding debt. Of course mercy could come along and pay the debt instead of justice. But I've been the beneficiary of mercy way too often to deny that to someone else, so either way it is a win/win situation for me.