Single Guys Over the Age of 30 are Idiots!

I have never met a group of more needy, manipulative, insecure, self-centered, messed up men. For a while I thought I was missing out on something because I chose not to date, but now I realize not dating is one of the smartest things I've ever done for myself.

There is one thing Dr. Laura says that makes sense to me. I think that once a parent gets a divorce dating life ends until the children are out of the house. My kids have already had their world rocked hard enough. They lost their dad in many ways, I don't want them to lose their mom too. And I definitely don't want to become a statistic in the nearly 70% second marriage failure rate.

I have met a lot of single men lately, (most of them through this beautiful, guy-magnet girlfriend of mine) and I rarely end up with a positive experience.

The most recent was a guy who talked to me like I was the only woman in the world when I met him. He was good looking, seemed super nice, and had a successful career so I was intrigued by him. He sent me an email right after we met saying that he just wanted to talk to me all evening and he regretted being interrupted by my friends (my beautiful girlfriend being one of them) when they joined in the conversation. It was pretty obvious that he was interested in me. Then I wrote back to him and said that I don't date and I'm not looking for anyone. He wrote back and said basically, well then will you give me your friend's phone number? Sheesh! What kind of shallowness is that?

Another guy is someone who was far less forward. He was fun to talk to, but very shy in a group. We were getting to be pretty good friends, I thought. It was nothing romantic from what I could tell, but I was enjoying our friendship. I grew up surrounded by boys and I feel very at home having them as close friends. Then suddenly he quit texting or calling me and he didn't respond to my texts or calls. Finally when I asked him about it directly, he texted me and said that I said something that made him uncomfortable and he gets really ticked off when he can't be himself. What?! Our conversation that night had been simple small talk. I racked my brain but couldn't figure out what in the world I had said that would destroy our friendship. The next week we ran into each other and he was totally excited to see me. He hugged me and apologized saying that he was just really sensitive. He offered to take me out to dinner to make up for it. In my mind a red warning light was going off saying "Abuse Cycle! Abuse Cycle!" I think I'll exit this ride now.

And that's about how it's gone for me. If I add in my girl friend's experiences there would be many more pages to write about. Her experiences have been pretty negative too - her boyfriend who we discovered dirty dancing (and I mean really dirty) with another girl at a club, the guy who called her or texted her more times each day than I have fingers on my hand, the guy who acted interested, set up a date, then disappeared and quit answering texts or emails from her (still married?). My girlfriend doesn't quite see it like I do. She says she needs to meet people and she keeps right on dating. That's fine for her.

Some guys go around desperately looking for a plug to fill the hole in their heart. If one girl won't plug in they quickly move on to the next girl to see if she will work. I don't want to be a plug for an unstoppable leak.

Other guys surround themselves with women but never settle in with any of them. They put enough energy into relationships to keep their fans happy, but that's it. Those are the guys who have 500+ friends on facebook, and counting. How can you really feel special when you know you are one of 500? Wonder why that guy isn't married yet? Hmmm. . . no commitment issues there, no none at all.

Another guy I know of gets into serious relationships with any single female who will give him her phone number. He smooth talks his way into her heart and then strings her along for years, never intending to get serious. Come to find out he has several girls stringing along all at the same time, all believing they are the center of his life. He's never been married either.

Dating was agonizing enough when dating was the correct developmental stage of life. Dating now is sheer torture. So yeah, I'll be single for many years to come. And happy!