Scary Things

Stepping out into the unknown has got to be one of the scariest parts of life. I worry about how I am going to be a mom and still get good grades. Sometimes I feel like I don't really fit in with all these young, cute, super-smart people. I wonder if I am really good enough to be in this program.

Today when I went to my graduate student orientation I realized that everyone else is having similar feelings. Even though my exact concerns are specific to my situation, I don't think my feelings are unique. The director of the school said today that when he got accepted to graduate school he kept wondering if they were going to realize they made a mistake and kick him out.

Here's how I deal with my fears. When I get scared and lose my guts to try new things, I just tell myself what I am going to say to my children or whomever someday. For example, I had to apply to get into the program as a bachelor's student. I was so scared that I wouldn't be accepted that I almost didn't apply. But instead of letting my fears take over I just told myself how amazed people were going to be after I am successful when I tell them that I almost didn't even apply to the program. I picture their faces of disbelief. I picture myself as a success. It is a really powerful fear blocker for me. I did the same thing when I applied to the graduate program.

And you know what? So far it seems like graduate school is going to be wonderful! Hard, but wonderful.